Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
