btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
