how can u be prego again
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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