singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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