WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
