Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I could fuck to npr.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
