i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
