tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
