quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Be still, my beating vagina.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Congratulations! We have a period
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
