so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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