Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
