I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
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