I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
