we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
