Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
