HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
