RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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