ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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