I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
