Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
