I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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