fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
