Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
