my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize