It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
