I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
