i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
