Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
