her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Still dying that you shit outside
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
