There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
