You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
