How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
