After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
