So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I wish i was in the wii world.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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