With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
