??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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