I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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