I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
