Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Dear god my vagina.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
