Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
