jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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