What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
