He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
