Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
