Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
