i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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