My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
