I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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