is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
