By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
