So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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