Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
