i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize