sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
