we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
