Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
...so i touched it.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
