He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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