So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize