Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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