I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
